Trials Produce Perseverance

I recently read on the Internet that one of the major problems missionaries face is loneliness and frustration. This past week I found these two emotions to be true for me. When I talk about my experience, I tend to to share the rosier side of the story, but quite honestly, that's not always my feelings.  Up until Wednesday, I had the expectation that because I am carrying out God's work, I should be happy and joyful all the time. At this point, my ear had been plugged a week, and nothing was changing. I was mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. I was overcome with loneliness as I thought about the people I haven't seen or talked to while I've been here. It seemed that the feelings I had been holding onto for the last eight weeks were finally unleashed.

Prior to this, whenever I felt sad or frustrated, I was overwhelmed with guilt. How can you be sad? The woman across the street is washing clothes by hand in a bucket of water, the children are playing soccer with an empty pop bottle. How can you be sad? The devil grabbed a hold of my foot and started to pull, filling my head with lies, doing anything he could to pull me down.

Later that day, I learned the feelings I was experiencing were normal. The frustration, the confusion, the loneliness. Normal. Whether in Haiti or Iowa, there will be tough days. Patience will be tested. Struggles, purpose, and God's plan will all be questioned. For the remainder of the week I clung to this verse that a friend shared with me.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2-3

With all of that being said, I want to thank you for your prayers and encouraging messages. It helps me more than you will ever know. As I look through these pictures, I remember why I'm here. These children offer me an abundance of love and joy, it fills my heart.

The weeks are quickly dwindling down. It's hard to believe I only have four left. We gained six new volunteers today, and are expecting two families that will finally be able to bring their child home. Needless to say, it should be a fun and busy week! Please be praying for the families, as well as the two children as they adjust to their forever homes.

I enjoy hearing from all of you, so please keep in touch! I hope you have a great rest of the week!

Until next time, 

Ashley